What are Communication Styles?
Communication theory posits there are different kinds of communication styles, or different attitudes, methods, and approaches to communication, especially in regards to perceived conflict. This post defines them and discusses how they can be applied in your writing.
Defining the Four Communication Styles
There are four communication styles, which are as follows:
- Passive
- Passive Aggressive
- Aggressive
- Assertive
Passive
Passive communication is indirect. It is self-denying or apologetic. Passive communication puts the needs of others ahead of your own. In verbal or written communication, the passive voice (e.g., “Mistakes were made”) may be employed in order to deflect blame or detract from your own or others’ actions. An example of this in action is when you accept doing your coworker’s work, unfairly and at your own expense, just to keep the peace.
Passive Aggressive
Passive aggressive communication is also indirect. However, unlike passive communication styles, passive aggressive communication is neither self-denying nor apologetic. It may seem self-denying at first, but the passive aggressive communication will prioritize your own needs at the expense of others, though it will use subtle methods to do so. Like the passive communication style, the passive voice may also be employed to deflect or detract responsibility from your words or actions. An example of this in action may be “forgetting” to copy someone on an email chain in order to circumvent their disapproval of your ideas or process.
Aggressive
Aggressive communication is direct, oftentimes overly so. Like the passive aggressive communication style, aggressive communication is not self-denying nor apologetic. It will prioritize your own needs, even if that is at others’ expense. Unlike assertive communication, aggressive communication does not consider any other parties. Instead it is bold, maybe angry, in the pursuit of your own wants and needs. This communication style will likely employ the active voice. An example of this in action may be yelling at a customer service worker for inputting your order incorrectly. Kinder words could have been used to express the problem; instead, an aggressive communication style will prefer dominance, anger, and directness over anything else.
Assertive
Assertive communication, is, in my opinion, the best style of communication in most situations. Like aggressive communication, it is direct. However, unlike aggressive communication, assertive communication is open and honest; it does not prioritize gaining power in a given situation. Instead, assertive communication focuses on acknowledging both parties have an interest, possibly differing ones, in a given conflict, and it will seek to find the best solution for everyone involved without ego getting in the way. Assertive communication will also employ an active voice. An example of this in action may be advocating for yourself while still treating the employee like a human being just doing their job when interacting with an online call center.
Using Communication Styles in Your Writing
You already employ these communication styles in your writing. You do it inherently. However, this section discusses how you may implement these styles intentionally and deliberately in order to create a more compelling story.
Characters
Your characters may be suited to one communication style over another. For example, a shy, people-pleasing character may be suited to a passive communication style, whereas a hot head with an ego may employ an aggressive one.
Situations
However, don’t feel pigeon holed based just on a character’s personality. It may serve as interesting juxtaposition and act as additional insight into your character’s personality if your arrogant character treats a customer service worker with patience or if the quiet character finally loses his temper.
Switching it Up
Finally, don’t feel obligated to write your characters with only one communication style. Yes, communication styles are often informed by personality, but as we can see, moods and situations can merit us switching things up. Additionally, changing communication styles may signal significant character development. What do we think when our passive character finally stands up for himself? Or when our aggressive character finally learns what real courage and communication looks like? To us, that is satisfying character development, and it can all be done just by switching up our characters’ communication styles.
In Conclusion
Communication styles are inherently understood by us as human beings. However by gaining an explicit understanding of these implicit principles we can deliberately use communication styles to write more compelling characters and interesting narratives.